NEW ZEALAND HUMOUR
LIVESTOCK AGENTS

Noticed on the wall of the Rangiuru Tavern.

LIVESTOCK

Livestock are animals that are bread and raised in the country to keep the graziers broke and the buyer crazy. They are born in the spring, mortgaged in the summer, pastured in the autumn and given away in the winter.

They vary in size, colour, weight and the man who can guess the nearest to their weight and quality is called a Livestock Buyer by the public, a robber by the grazier, a poor risk by the bank.

The price of livestock is usually set at the Franklin Saleyards and invariably goes up after you have sold, and down when you hold them. When you have light ones they want heavy. When you have cattle you find they want sheep, and vice versa.

When they are thin the top price is for fats and when they are fat you are told the tallow market is now shot to hell.

Ten years ago I swore I'd quit the business then and there but here I am with a lot of people depending on me for their daily meals. How the hell is business with you ?




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